so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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