you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
