my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
