Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
We smell like vodka and hangover
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