Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
