my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
