I can text with my tongue
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
