im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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