He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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