Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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