If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
