With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
