kristin has been a bad kristin
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
