Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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