Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
