...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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