you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
