I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
