We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
