how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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