apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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