Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
