im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
