Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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