just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
