Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
