people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize