I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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