Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
