i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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