Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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