shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
