So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
