I love black thongs
this beer tastes like vomit already
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
