Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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