i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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