i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize