Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
