one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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