C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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