you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
