Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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