break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
