You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
