Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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