physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
