Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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