I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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