you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
