Cold hands, warm shart.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
