yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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