My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
