He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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