..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
