we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Blood and glitter go together right?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
