I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I look better un-naked...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
