I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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