I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Girls should come with a carfax report
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
