Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
