come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
