I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
