she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So much Jack, so little girl.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize