He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
