ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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