She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
