I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
