Pants 0. Shit 1.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
