Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
