I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
