We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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