he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
